Trenton Reynolds: This is Room in the Trees, a podcast about living a creative life. Room in the Trees is hosted by Sabrina Ward-Harrison and me, Trent Reynolds.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: show notes including pictures links video and more for every episode can be found at
Trenton Reynolds: roominthetrees.com if you like this podcast please consider showing your support you can become a subscribing patron at patreon.com forward slash room and now here's this week's episode i got really nervous just about It can all go away, Sean, and none of this that you've got to understand, this is low, low expectations. Awesome.
Sean McCabe: I perform actually really well with expectations are low.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: What was the Saturday Night Live thing you were saying, Sean, about?
Sean McCabe: Oh, lowered expectations.
Oh.
Sean McCabe: I don't remember the exact skit, and it may not have come from Saturday Night Live. It might have been like Mad TV, but I remember late 80s that there was some skit that had two people walking on the beach. You know, it was like silhouettes, and that was the catch, was lowered expectations. And whatever it was that they, their hitch, it was hilarious. So it just, we were talking about something the other day, and it was, yeah, it kind of came out as that.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: Like a dating thing? Oh, yeah. No, totally. Totally.
Sean McCabe: Lowered expectations.
Trenton Reynolds: Well, I'll tell you what I feel strongly about right now in this moment, and that is salt and vinegar kettle chips.
Oh my God.
Trenton Reynolds: How do we feel about these?
Yeah, 100%.
Trenton Reynolds: Are you guys on board with the salt and vinegar? Do you have a favorite brand?
Sabrina Ward Harrison: So let me just say one thing about salt and vinegar. That used to be only in Canada years ago in the 80s. Really? And they weren't here. And so when I'd go to Canada, it'd be this special thing because we'd get the Lays with a... Munchies, I think was a brand. It was so exciting to go get the salt and vinegar chips. Really? Yeah, and then they came here. Way to go, Canada.
Right? Right?
Sean McCabe: I'll be honest, I like anything that's kettle chipped. You know, if it's the jalapeno. But, you know, I never liked anything that had vinegar, obviously pickles. But I never cared for anything like that. And it turns out... and I'm a huge fan of the salt and vinegar.
Trenton Reynolds: Me too. I haven't tried the jalapeno. Do I need to try the jalapeno?
Sean McCabe: I'm telling you, if you haven't already tried it, you haven't really lived. So I'm going to need to just press pause, run to the store, get a bag of those, and a two-liter of Mountain Dew. You won't feel good when you're done, but trust me, it's on the bucket list. Two liters of Mountain Dew. Oh, that sounds dangerous.
Oh, my God. Oh.
Trenton Reynolds: - Straight to heaven on that one.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: - Right? - Well, I'm so happy to have this conversation happening.
Trenton Reynolds: - Likewise, do you wanna introduce our guest?
Sabrina Ward Harrison: - Yes.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: The love of my life, Sean McCabe. - Oh yeah, how about that? - I told Trent, he's been in the know since like right after the time that happened into action. - Oh, nice. - And we talked about on the podcast, delete it all out. Why? Oh, just that. Too much privacy. Privacy considerations.
Trenton Reynolds: Yeah.
Sean McCabe: Well, yeah, so I'm Sean.
Trenton Reynolds: That does not mean that I am lacking detail. I need, I require some details. From Sean's point of view, please.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: Where should we begin, Trent?
Sean McCabe: Probably at the beginning. Yeah, so I can go on and on when when it comes to talking about how we met because we've known each other we've run in the same circles for years and uh it wasn't until this past summer when and we didn't know this at the time but we had both come to a place in our lives where we were absolutely accepting of the fact that we were going to do whatever was in front of us and stop worrying about relationships and just be the best us that we could be individually. And we came to a point where neither one of us needed anything from anyone else. We were perfectly comfortable in our own skin. And it's like, I won't say magic, but it was at that point that we found each other and found that not only were we good by ourselves, but we were better together. So it was awesome. It was one of those, to be honest with you, Trent, I've tried to try to carry myself with, uh, I don't know, an air of dignity and integrity. And I caught myself staring at this woman and I don't ever do that. You can ask anybody in the circles we run in the, I mean, I, I'm, I'm a very respectful man. And, uh, I don't know, I was sitting on my motorcycle and I was staring at this lady kind of mesmerized and then I we locked eyes and I kind of shook my head and was like, oh my god, what was that? Yeah, I just kind of wrote it off and then That was a Tuesday and by Friday we had seen each other again. It was a very similar situation I was sitting out on my motorcycle and she came out of a church and we just
huh
Sean McCabe: how about that yeah yeah it's I don't know I can't really explain it I just
Trenton Reynolds: so if I'm understanding correctly your your dignity and integrity was compromised
Sean McCabe: exactly by the sheer
Trenton Reynolds: attraction that that you felt for Sabrina that is fantastic that's fantastic
Sean McCabe: I absolutely love loving her.
Sean McCabe: It comes naturally. There's a ringtone on my phone. I don't know who the guy is that sings the song, but he sings this song. It says, you make it easy. Something along those lines. It's a country song. And every time it comes on, it's hard for me to answer the phone because it just, it's her. It's her. I just, I want to savor every moment. It's weird because like the last six months or so have gone by. It seems like six or eight years.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sean McCabe: Time slowed down when we started dating. Yeah.
Trenton Reynolds: So you guys exchanged this gaze, and then what was the first conversation? What was the topic of conversation, or how did you guys start that off?
Sabrina Ward Harrison: So Sean, so I came out of the church. I'd sit in, and I said that on the podcast. I said, this is a whole situation right here. It's hardly... And then I mentioned something about going to, leaving for, being, somehow I found out that I was an artist and he said, so are you someone like I could look up and, you know, are you like a real artist or something?
Sean McCabe: And I'm like, yeah, you can look it up.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: So he went home, I guess, and looked it up, friended me on Facebook. I mean, he friended me. I looked to see if like, maybe he's just friends with all the girls on Facebook that we know. And he didn't. He didn't have that.
And yeah.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: I messaged my friend Marissa and I was just like, this is, it was just, it was curious. I could tell some, and I, there's this way deep in my heart that from the very beginning, I just felt like I knew something had happened that was irreversible. It was just that it all was somehow making sense as much as it was sort of all surprising. It was also completely, like I felt life happening to me right then. So he sent me a really, really loving message about, you know, the fear, you know, the fear of not doing versus, and you and I talk about this on the podcast, the whole idea of like the risk of not doing versus what could happen if you actually do, you know, the fear of rejection is worth,
um,
Sabrina Ward Harrison: taking that risk.
Sean McCabe: The pain of not knowing was far greater than the fear of rejection. Yeah.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: And he said, you know, a thousand apologies if I overstepped something and I've never done this. And either way, it's, you know, God's will and regardless.
Sean McCabe: So the theme of the entire relationship thus far has been, that I would rather the truth separate us than a lie hold us together. So whatever it is that's going on, if it's a fear, which is entirely different than any other relationship, because we put on these masks when we go out in the world and we want people to like us, we want to present our best self. And I've found that my best self is an honest one that shows all my warts and all my wrinkles and, that if there's anything, if I have a fear, if I have a doubt, if I have joys and whatnot, that I share all of that with Sabrina. And it's unlike any relationship I've ever been in where she's created – a world where I can be my true self. I don't have to be a chameleon and be what I think she wants me to be because what she wants me to be is me. And that's, I don't know, that's liberating. So I'm finding out who I actually am by being in this relationship. and healing so many arms, so many hurts, you know, whether it's childhood or regrets or any of that stuff that I'm able to heal. So it's kind of weird. I don't know what you've got going on in your little world right there, but we're sitting at the same table, kind of locked eyes, and it's...
it's awesome
Sabrina Ward Harrison: I'm not
Trenton Reynolds: part of that moment unfortunately you are though I can't lock eyes with the two of you or be the fly on the wall but No, but it is always wonderful to hear stories like this, and especially stories that happen in the right way, like when things feel really healthy and truthful. We've talked a lot about, on the podcast over the course of the last five years, about, know, moments of resonance, you know, where either you resonate with a process, with a material, with some method of creation or with another person and how wonderful and like, it feels like those are the moments when creativity is at its best, right? Like in And just listening to you talk, Sean, it's like, you know, space opens up when it's done right. And when things are open and honest, space is there for you to become more of who you are. Like more to expand and become even, you know, even bigger. I don't know. I think there's something about that resonance that is creative, that is additive, you know, like expansive. Yeah. it's kind of wonderful to hear the story of you both becoming more deeply yourself in the process of learning each other fantastic
Sabrina Ward Harrison: well said Trent yeah that's all I got and also a little bit more a little bit more badass too there's a whole other component too to the I'm wearing my Harley Davidson socks when we sit here
Trenton Reynolds: I want to hear more about the badassery what is the motorcycle was wasn't that part of your your initial response was the badassery of of Sean yeah
yeah
Trenton Reynolds: Sean how do you feel about your do you well I would suspect that you don't necessarily feel like a badass but not at all that's part of being a badass is that you don't recognize right how you don't recognize
it
Sean McCabe: I'm a very humble guy. Just ask me. No, you're absolutely right. It's, it's, um, I'll tell you to, to see myself through her eyes, um, gives me confidence in just, again, being me and, uh, I dig that she digs it I don't there's so many little things that you don't even recognize and to have somebody around that sees the little stuff the little quirks the things that other people might find odd she's just overwhelmingly attracted with then I gotta say I'm the same way yeah I don't consider myself a badass by any stretch of the imagination but I dig that she does
Trenton Reynolds: well I think you need to you need to tell us a little bit more about kind of what you're about you're about the Harley what else and let me back up
Sabrina Ward Harrison: just by saying the badass like I didn't know Sean I didn't know Sean's heart I didn't know his, I don't know all the things I know of him now, reflecting on the badass part. He is badass, but that was the initial, like, you know, great to look at, and he's great on his bike, and so, you know, there was that initial, just like he had an initial attraction to that, but it's the whole person, the whole, like, I don't sit around thinking it like, oh, I'm dating some badass. Not dating, I'm marrying some badass. We're not saying that he's one-dimensional.
Trenton Reynolds: There are many dimensions to Sean. But it is a pretty fantastic dimension. But I never would have guessed in my life
Sabrina Ward Harrison: I would end up with such a total badass kind of guy. That's awesome. It's ridiculous.
Sean McCabe: It's fantastic.
Trenton Reynolds: So granted that this is not the only attraction to Sean, nor would I say that it's his defining or most prominent characteristic. All the same, I want to know more.
Right on.
Trenton Reynolds: We got the Harleys. I know it is... Can I ask, is there a loyalty to Harley-Davidson, or is it...
Sean McCabe: No, and I'm glad you asked. I have a 77 Shovelhead, which is a Harley-Davidson... I have a 2013 Road Glide, which is what we have been riding on this fall. The Harley? Yeah, Harley Davidson Road Glide, which is a touring bike, very comfortable. But then I also have two Hondas, because there's stuff you can do on a Honda, you just can't do on a Harley. So I have a 2017 CBR 1000RR. And then I also have a, I guess it's probably like 2014 CB 1000R. So totally different riding.
Trenton Reynolds: What can you do on those bikes that you can't do on your Harleys?
Sean McCabe: 185 miles an hour.
There you go. There you go. It's pretty badass, Sean.
Sean McCabe: Well, and see, now, here's the deal. I don't have a fear of a lot of stuff, but my natural inkling to go fast and die hard kind of attitude, you know, is changing. It's changing. I've had me for the longest time that I had to worry about. And I'm so comfortable with everything in my life. I'm so blessed that I really don't have any fear of what comes after. But I'm kind of digging being here. You know, by no means I don't have any suicidal tendencies, so I've never driven fast in the hope that something bad would happen. But the thought that I can miss out on the next couple of years has caused me to not want to drive so fast. To be entirely honest, I... I got a lot of catching up to do. So there's a want to be right here, right now, and to be present in this very moment that I've had glimpses of in the past, but it seems like that's more and more what I want, is just to be right here, right now in this moment. With Sabrina, obviously. Yeah.
Trenton Reynolds: Sure. It's interesting to think that we spend a lot of time, especially I see it in my kids all the time. It's kind of just part of being a kid I guess is trying to grow up and wanting to be the older kid and wanting to do the next thing that is there for you to experience. We don't often talk about I guess we do often talk about just the the joy of or the importance of just arriving and allowing yourself to arrive, you know? And you talk about like being present, like it's an easy thing to say, but I think a much more difficult thing to kind of pinpoint until you actually feel it. I think I've had a similar type of feel. I'm sorry to cut you off. I'm cutting you off. The, the thought I, one moment I can think of that comes to mind is I, when I was walking live to, uh, to kindergarten once, just a couple of years ago and, uh, holding her hand and she would, you know, kind of jump and I would swing her so she could jump a long distance. And, uh, there is this kind of desperation that happens, you know, like that feeling came where I was like, I wanted so badly for that not to stop, you know, for that moment not to stop and to, and then, you know, it's so easy to fast forward and think of when she's a teenager and she'll no longer, you know, obviously be the size and have a desire to hold my hand and let me walk her to class, you know, but, there is that kind of tangible feeling of being present and so invested in just the current, you know, moment. Yeah. Wonderful to hear.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: What I was noticing for myself is that there's a wonderful Charles Dickens line about you. I wish you to know you were the very last dream of my soul. And I love that. When I read that a month or so ago, I felt that resonated for me because I, And the peace I have in my life now, there's, you know, I'm so glad I met Sean now at 44, 43, no, 44, where there's nowhere I need to go travel to. There's nowhere I need, there's no accolades I need to have. There's no, there's nothing, there's a very peaceful sense of this is... this relationship and this life right now is there's nowhere else and nothing else needs to happen.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: Not them saying it's all, it's on this relationship, but the fact that this is just this complete something for me that is very, that's deep and... And I didn't dream of this
Sean McCabe: Right, so right, you know, I would have sold myself short. Yeah, right But what's interesting is that I actually did take time number years back to put together something like an ideals list something that attributes of a relationship and of a partner and And in doing so, you put together the best qualities you can think of that you would like in a partner and then try to aspire to them yourself. That idea that like begets like. And to be honest with you, I've come out the other side of better man as a result of it. And then, lo and behold, as soon as I kind of stopped looking around, well it wasn't as soon as I stopped looking around, but she showed up in my life life.
Yeah.
Sean McCabe: I think it really does come down to whatever it is, whatever season of life we're in, to try and enjoy this moment right here, whatever that is. Right.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: Even when it's all the unknown and all the fear and all the, like even today at work I said to Megan as we're thinking about Liberate 2.0 coming and I said, "You know, Megan, there's so much we have to do and figure out, but I know we're going to be sitting there high-fiving each other and it's going to be happening and so I'm trying right now to just be in the fact that it feels this way. There's a lot, you know, we don't know, but it's to not be let stress or frustration be lead anything because it's all going to figure itself out.
Trenton Reynolds: So I think, you know, just cause I'm, we're on the podcast and I'm thinking about art making it just being, being an art teacher. Yeah. You know, there are moments when, I see students and I can see the frustration of not being more able to do what they want to do, right? Like to make the painting, you know, to have the skill to be able to render the way they want to render. And I think part of my enjoyment is, or I think, I don't know, I guess I'm kind of getting at the same thing that you guys are talking about is like part of, really understanding the joy of creation and making art is like getting to the place where you're not worried about what you're not, you know, is just allowing yourself to enjoy the place that you're at. Like, I'm not worried that I don't know how to paint like Rembrandt. I'm just enjoying the fact that I've got two hands and I can smush the paint around on the canvas and It's like it's also about being present, I guess, and not having anxiety about what I have not yet become. Does that make sense?
Sean McCabe: That's phenomenal. Are you kidding me?
That's absolutely on point.
Sean McCabe: Nice articulation of that.
Trenton Reynolds: I think, yeah, it happens at like a macro scale, you know, and like on a life timeline, but also just like in each individual moment, I think, when you're trying to sort through just being a person. What is that for you right now, Trent? Yeah. Well, that's a little harder. You're asking me to think about... I had a bit of a rough day. Did you? I don't want to get into it. Just teaching photography to high school and middle school kids was a little... a little hard today and I'd much rather occupy your life for a few minutes.
Sean McCabe: No, it's a good question. I'm not sure. I wanted to touch on that for just a second. If you're sharing something that you're passionate about and that you absolutely love and you honor it and it's like, all right, so I build houses and I've gotten well enough at it that I'm able to teach other people how to do it. and I take something that I'm so passionate about, and then if there's somebody there that kind of just could care less, I mean, that really hurts, to be honest with you. And I just, I thought about classes in school, and that I took art classes that I wasn't, you know, I thought it would be an easy elective or whatever, that I wasn't passionate about, and I wonder just how, painful that is to try and share something that you're that passionate about with somebody who could care less now hopefully that's not your situation it just it made me obviously that is
Trenton Reynolds: something that makes me definition your your that is the definition of middle middle school and high school is could not care less you know i was like I remember when I was in high school, what you care about is the kids around you and who's looking at you and who you're looking at. But yeah, no, that's definitely part of it. I'm a person that invests a lot of who I am in... in kind of in teaching. And it, it's really hard for me when I feel like I'm not like nobody cares.
Yeah.
Trenton Reynolds: Yeah. I can see that.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: One thing that's as far as like Sean, the craft, one thing I've loved watching is when he's building, he'll sometimes Marco Polo with me to show me his process and his progress on certain parts of the house. And just a careful circumspect. and focus he has and you know compared to my like you know which i mean i have a i can get i get into my zone for sure but um i really admired watching how he works and It's fascinating to me.
Trenton Reynolds: Would you say that that... I don't know. How would you say that your two... One being more precise and one being more... stream of conscious? Is that a... Maybe I'm going to get myself in trouble. I don't know. I'm going to have to think about that a little bit more.
Sabrina Ward Harrison: For me, it's very calming to me to have his sense of organization or... somehow. It's very, very grounding to me. Well, we're going to get married.
Sean McCabe: Yay! See, and that falls under my reveal earlier, this idea that we're living together down the road, we'll be in the two houses and that keep this place for the studio. Whatever God's got in store for us is better than anything we could have planned. That kind of leads into a friend of mine had asked me if I'd actually proposed that I maybe had the cart before the horse because I was already deciding of an addition and having a ring made all this lovely stuff. And he says, did, did you actually ask her to marry you? And I was, well, sure. I mean, not, I mean, not really, but we're both, we both understand that that's where this was going and maybe you should do that. So it just happened to have taken place on Valentine's day where, um,
Sean McCabe: He had a bit of a cold. He had come into town and wasn't feeling great, but he kind of sacrificed in order to solidify whatever and went for a ride. And it was great. It was great meeting him and Gretchen. It was wonderful. And I met Sabrina's mom. We went to California. Went to California. It was in Pasadena. I was talking about that a little bit ago. and yeah
it's awesome so
Sean McCabe: everybody's very cool, very accepting so I don't have any apprehension about it, I'm married to her anyways
Trenton Reynolds: it's nice that she comes from a good family as well absolutely you get the family too that's
Sean McCabe: so I haven't met her sister yet but I have done the FaceTime thing and just a wonderful family all the way around so
Sabrina Ward Harrison: and I love Sean's mom she's just, Rhi is just the coolest coolest cat in town she's a heartless
Trenton Reynolds: and I heard about the carrot cake got the carrot cake
Sabrina Ward Harrison: there we go, famous the famous carrot cake um I just love her. I love her spirit. And she's tough and she's got a big, big heart. I like loving her.
Trenton Reynolds: Well, it has been a privilege, Sean, to take some time and talk to you. This is our first, I think, first chance to really have a conversation. And really happy for both of you. You guys sound awesome. Sounds like the real deal.
Sean McCabe: Thank you. I'm excited to hear about what's on your agenda next, Trent.
Trenton Reynolds: Sounds like you're more than at peace with your decision.
Sean McCabe: I don't know all the ins and outs, and I imagine I'll talk to Sabrina more about that. But you mean a lot to her, so it's... It's important.
Trenton Reynolds: It's a work in progress, this life that we're living. So whatever comes is supposed to be.
Trenton Reynolds: My wife and I both have had the experience multiple times over the course of our relationship of just being able to look in retrospect and see how things have happened the way they've needed to, you know? and we've been we've been richly blessed so i have no reason to doubt that that uh you know we won't be provided for things going forward too it's awesome anyway life is good yes thanks for listening we'll be back next week
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Trenton Reynolds: You can follow us on Instagram at Sabrina Ward Harrison and at Trent Reynolds Art.
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